Your Home Field Advantage
Give the more zealous portion of your fanbase a religion. What's this cult following? Feel free to give the splitters a derogatory nickname.
Gamecock fans fall into three camps: the realists, the pessimists and the insane. Anyone that is familiar with SEC blogs knows that about 70% of Gamecock fans on the internet fall into the third category. I really want to know which team they’re watching, because I see no MNC in our near future, but they’re always carrying on about it like the Gamecocks are equipped with Panzers this season. Personally, I am a realist/pessimist, but only a realist when very, very drunk. So I’d give the insane Gamecock fans a Jim Jones cult.
Your biggest rival is in town, and College Gameday is coming....to your citaaaaaaay... Create a blatant corporate sellout promotion to appeal to the mass unwashed.
Easy. Stuffed-animal tigers, soaked in gasoline, and instead of cotton or whatever, they are stuffed with fireworks. Only on sale after 9pm Friday before the Clemson-Carolina game.
Add one local delicacy to your stadium's concessions. Post-tax pricing is optional.
Mustard-based barbecue. Arguing over barbecue is like arguing over which religion is better, but I stand by the
The good stuff.
With an unlimited AD budget, add or subtract one thing to your school's gameday experience that has nothing to do with football.
Can I buy wins? Short of that, I’d want to expand the
I'm using this image as often as I can.
General NCAA questions
Coin a hilariously unrealistic stereotype that you would like to "make stick" for this upcoming season.
A reality tv show is following around the Seventh Floor Crew as they contemplate life post-Buddhist conversion and where to go on pilgrimage—to the Bodhi Tree or to the monasteries of
Redesign your conference or independent schedule with reckless abandon. Be prepared to include compensation for jilted schools and conferences in your explanation.
I’d like to see the Gamecocks play FSU, but only if we can get in our time machines and play last year too. I’d also like to see the UNC-USC tilt become a regular occurrence, but this looks to be impossible. So we drop SC State from the schedule so far. I’d also like to see
Evan Williams Green Label: When black simply doesn't get you drunk enough.
Following up on your new realignment, blow up the BCS and devise a national playoff system, money grabs and missed exams be damned. Using your new fantasy conferences is optional.
Top four team playoff would be my system. The bowls would begin the Monday after Christmas and would be played two a night, one at 5:30 and one at 8. On Saturday, the two first round games would be played. The following week, the various conference champs left out of the playoffs would play each other, along traditional lines (B10-PAC10, SEC-ACC) or highest ranked vs. highest ranked. These would take place on Monday night and Thursday night. The rest of the bowls would take place this week too. Championship game would be held on Saturday night, time and place TBA.
Elect one public figure to replace NCAA president Myles Brand. Anyone with proper name recognition is eligible.
Does this have to be a real figure? Because if not, I’d be torn between Bill Brasky or Mark Antony from HBO’s