Sunday, July 29, 2007

Movie review: Where Eagles Dare

First off, let me say that I am playing the shit out of NCAA 08, mostly while drunk. My advisor is expecting a write up on what I want to do my thesis on and there’s no way he’s getting it before the month ends. And French is whipping my ass…done with that in one week. With that said, I’m taking a break to discuss a movie whose review is long overdue: Where Eagles Dare.

It’s a rare thing for me to watch a movie and just accept a completely absurd premise, events, storyline, characters, accents, etc. and just roll with it. It’s still another thing for me to do all that and still enjoy the movie. But this is the case with one of my favorite WWII films, Where Eagles Dare. If there is one thing this movie does well, it is kicking Nazi ass. If you like to see Nazis get blown up, stabbed, shot, impaled with pickaxes, thrown off cliffs, strangled or run over with a snowplow-equipped bus, this movie is for you. If you don’t, then I don’t want to be your friend.

So the basic plot is this: Clint Eastwood and Richard Burton lead a team of commandos in to go rescue an American general that was captured by the Germans. The Germans are going to torture him to figure out the plans for the Allied invasion of France. Honestly, don’t worry about anything else regarding the plot besides that because it’ll just make your head hurt. Just sit back and enjoy the Nazi killings.

This movie has also been ripped off by a lot of recent WWII video games. Virtually everything in Return to Castle Wolfenstein can be seen as an offshoot of this, and the recent shitty game Hour of Victory (I made a horrible mistake and rented that last weekend) goes so far as to even put an eagle in one of their concept art shots. So they're great game makers and subtle too.

Avoid at all costs.

I love this movie. It’s one of my favorites in the war genre, and personally, I think it is remarkably similar to “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly” due to its overbearing style, massive body counts, unrealistic portrayal of most everything that goes on in it, and of course, Clint. Go Netflix or buy it (I recently got my copy at Borders) now.

A synopsis

A decent trailer

Sunday, July 22, 2007

This....was interesting.

I was flipping around and stopped on HBO when I saw a clip of Amanda Bynes in Hairspray. Before you start with the wiseass comments, just take a look at these pics:

...No comment.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

NCAA 08 First Thoughts...

...I need to work on my passing game. So I got it at 12:30, got a twelve pack, came home and booted it up in the ol' Xbox 360. Fowler breaks down some new features while you see badass trick plays play through on the screen. This new save your replay thing is either the coolest thing ever or the dorkiest thing ever--basically, you can save replays and upload them to the internet. On the one hand, it'd be cool to beat your friend's ass, save replays and then send email them to him with subject lines like "holy shit scarlett johansson nip slip!" and then some nice play on the other end of that nondescript youtube html. But then again, who the fuck sends NCAA clips of themselves over the internet? Bottom line is, I hope reallyboredugafan gets this game quickly.

So after that, I start up with a Carolina-Clemson game. At this point, I started taking notes, and I'm kinda drunk, so I'll just start to list those notes right now.

--The Gamecock helmets are authentic down to the SC State flag stickers on the back of them.

--Gamecock unis are Under Armour. Click mothafuckin clack.

--CJ Spiller=untackalable. And fast. Probably much more untackalabe than in real life. If you like to run the ball, go with Clemson.

--Blake Mitchell=the most perfectly modeled QB in the game. First drive, he goes 4-4, 58yds, 1td. He then proceeds to go 0-12 with FOUR PICKS over the next two and a half quarters. I benched him in favor of Garcia, who led the Gamecocks to a close 27-24 win over the Tigers. Late Succop field goal was the factor.

--Succop=dominant kicker.

--More on Mitchell-My roommate comes home from the bar and so we play Gators-Gamecocks. Blake torches the UF defense for about 295yds, 3tds.

--The whole game just looks a lot better from EA's last effort on the 360.

--Tebow+Gator playbook=potentially the best option team in the game.

--Passing is more difficult, you need to switch it up a lot, runs with the pass, draws, etc.

--DB's have much better hands.

--Clemson could not cover Kenny McKinley to save their lives.

--I played next as LSU, roommate was Auburn. Two teams with "Tiger Rag" for their fight songs was torture.

--LSU's defense is fucking incredible. Fast and can hit the shit out of people. I picked Cox off seven times. Two picks to the house, one more called back on clipping call.

--Auburn's #44, Ben Tate(?) is pretty fucking good.

--LSU's Alley Broussard is better. The game came down to a defensive stalemate, whereas I could barely complete any passes at all (1-11), I could kinda run the ball. My roommate completed passes all over the field, to me and his own players. Final: LSU takes it, 20-10.

--There is a lot of shit going on in the pre-snap screen now. Audibles for the o-line, WRs, RBs, play switching, etc. Similar things for the defense.

--I am addicted. More info tomorrow the mean time, back to it.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Fuck with NCAA Day

So NCAA Football 08 comes out tomorrow...midnight at my local store. Your intrepid reporter/entirely average NCAA player will begin taking notes and will probably have a "first look" post up by the time you read this tomorrow morning. Until then, enjoy these:

NCAA is always better with "The Chronic."

You (and your life) is not ready.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

2007 Gamecock Preview: The Offense

OK so this bender that I was on kind of extended itself right up until I started my summer schooling here on the 25th. Some advice stemming from said bender: Bud Select in bottles is serviceable. Bud Select in cans is fucking terrible. Sweetwater Summer Hummer is all you should be drinking right now. That’s all I’m going to say, though. So sorry about so little postings. In this post, I’m going to outline the Gamecock offense, specifically strong and weak points and some questions heading into the new season. By the way, if you have a chance of taking a six week French 101 course, it is a good way to learn French because it forces you to learn it. But it’s also a good way to not do much else besides learn French. With that said, let’s get into it.

This is it.

Like a lot of bloggers here on these internets, I’m fascinated/terrified by Phil Steele’s knowledge of and subsequent prediction of my favorite team’s upcoming season. He is picking the Gamecocks to be tied for first in the SEC East with UGA. This is terrifying for me because it has marginally increased my hopes of a finish better than 7-5. Marginally—I’m still your reliable Gamecock pessimist, dear readers. So obviously an important factor to a Spurrier coached team is going to be the offense. Let’s take a look at it, starting with…


I feel as if the Gamecocks are set here. Cory Boyd and Mike Davis are two above-average backs (on a horrible-bad-fair-good-above average-great continuum) that are fully capable of handling the carries required by a Spurrier offense. In the past two seasons, it seems as if Spurrier has run more of a ball control offense, and I believe that this can be shown through how few times the Gamecocks have punted last year: 30 in 2006. Their opponents punted 48 times in the same year. So I guess my point is that Spurrier leaned on Boyd and Davis, especially in that Clemson game where all four Gamecock touchdowns in the 31-28 win was scored on the ground. Davis and Boyd combined for about 170 yards in that game. This is of course helped out by the fact that the Gamecocks had a decent…


…by that point in the season. The inside three from this effective unit is now gone. So once again the Gamecocks have to rebuild the O-line. Some projected starters include two defensive linemen that are switching to the O-line. I honestly have no idea how this is going to turn out, and from what I can tell, the opening SEC game vs. the Georgia Bulldogs will be a battle to see who has the worse O-line. We’ve lost five straight to these guys and I’ve promised myself that I’m not going to pick the Gamecocks in this game until they can prove me wrong. Hopefully the O-line can limp along thru the Georgia and LSU games, and get to a relatively easier stretch against MSU, Kentucky, UNC and Vanderbilt. Regardless if the line is solidified or not, the schedule gets significantly harder at that point, with games at UT, at Arkansas and then home for UF and Clemson. The o-line is probably the biggest weakness of the offense, and it just so happens that this will affect everything, especially…


…Blake Mitchell. OK here’s the thing about Blake. He can be good and then he can be awful. A big key of this is how good the offensive line is doing. Last year the o-line couldn’t block, so Syvelle Newton, my second favorite Gamecock of all time, had to go to QB. But back to Blake. I think he can be a solid quarterback, and as Brandon from Cock-n-Fire recently mentioned, but he tends to fuck up a lot…so I don’t know if he ever will be a solid QB. I really don’t know what to do with this guy. I never thought I’d really utter this line but…I wish the Gamecocks could have Phil Petty back. Kill me now. No smooth transfer here so let’s just jump to the…

No Phil Petty picture to be found, but when I Google Image searched him, a My Lai pic came up. Appropriate.


The new man?

I think the squad is deceptively deep here. Kenny McKinley was pretty much the go to guy for the middle stretch of the season until Sidney was able to get going. Kenny had 8 catches for 110 yds and 1 TD vs. Auburn, 4 for 70 vs. Tennessee, 7 for 87 and 1 TD vs. Arkansas, 5 for 71 at Florida, 5 for 66 at Clemson and 3 for 112 and 2 TDs in the bowl win vs. Houston. Besides that, not too many people have seen action, but big things are supposedly expected from incoming freshman Chris Culliver, a five star recruit, and JUCO transfer Larry Freeman. Freeman is expected to play right away, and he is famous already for being bitched out by Spurrier during the spring game for running the wrong route…oh and this was nationally televised.

Others that may see time include Mike West, whom Spurrier said “looks like Calvin Johnson. But that’s it…he just looks like Calvin Johnson. Let’s see if he can play like him.” For what it’s worth, West converted from linebacker to WR, he weighs 220 lbs and runs a 4.4 40.

One more thing:

As per usual, Brandon writes so I don’t have to: Recruit ineligibility news

Whew. I don’t know why, but it took me forever to finish this post. We’re a week away from NCAA 08’s release date and I’m getting ready to log some major hours on that and do some reportage here at Third Down Draw.